There are times when one has to learn to shut up. And at the ancient age of 22, I still haven't learnt to guard my mouth. Tsk.

So Diaryland is being such a pain again. I have a good mind to abandon that site and blog exclusively in this Blogspot journal. The only thing that's stopping me is the fact that I have over 2 years' worth of memories and musings/rantings encaptured in that said journal so to disregard it on a permanent basis will bring as much pain and loss as Diaryland going bonkers on me.

Oh well... The things you have to put up with if you go for costless products. Seems like I'll just have to take my rantings and updates here for the time being, no?

As I've mentioned here (and, perhaps you've noticed, hinted at it in the previous post), the week has been an extremely strenuous and, at times, disappointing one; thus the urgent need for some gallivanting or a stress-relieving getaway. And gallivant I did, though not as drastic and far as I make it out to be for it was only to the Changi Airport on Thursday night with Geetha and Jo and the Singapore Zoo with Liyana on Friday. Two days filled with the much needed shrieking laughter, gossips and updates, man-watching, animal-watching, trees and plants, peace, sinfully filling food and, of course, photo-taking sessions to cleanse ourselves of the harrassments in life.

The end-result? A happier and liberated Irdawathy Anuar, thank you very much. Even if it'll last only up to the weekend. Heh.

3/4 of Assomull's Angels on 24.3.05 (L-R): Irdawathy, Jo and Geetha

The Gorgeous Ones on 25.3.05 (L-R): Liyana and Irdawathy

I do not get the "blame everybody else except the one really at fault because the one at fault is no longer around" game. I honestly don't. What freak gets satisfaction out of playing such a game?

You ask me, I ask who?

Dear colleagues,

As I was clearing my desk, recollections of my stay here hit me squarely. It's been an eventful 11 mths, and I've gotten to experience and do things that I would not have been able to elsewhere. Indubitably, the fondest memory I shall take with me are of the great people I have met and worked with over the course of my stay. I am truly glad to have served, laughed and cried (figuratively speaking, of course) with you.

Should there be any incident between us which may have directly or indirectly offended you, please do not take it to heart for I am just human; and we are prone to err.. My greatest apology if I have hurt or offended you in any way. I shall sign off here. Thank you for everything and hopefully we shall meet again.

Regards
Shahidah

********************

Awww, Shah!

So she claims. And we mourned her last day with an exaggeratingly filling lunch of pizza and chicken wings. 4 more hours and counting, after which she is a temporarily libetrated woman before she steps into, once again, the appealing world of the legal industry.

Nurshahidah binte Abdul Wahab, here's wishing you all the best in your future career. May your exuberance and efficiency bring you the happiness you seek.

With love,
Your future children's god-mother :)

Where were the days where we had annual sleepovers and monthly outings? Taken over by commitments with school, work, National Service and our respective social life. Gone are the days where we were young, carefree and innocent; where our lives revolved around each other and the close-knit cousinhood we had.

And the loss, as sore as it is, hasn't hurt our cousinhood one bit. We may have foregone the annual sleepovers and our outings are now rare, but the togetherness forged over the years has survived petty quarrels and outsiders intent on breaking us up. We have seen each other through tumultuous relationships, bad hair days and ire over the smallest issue; yet we remain as strong as ever.

Yes, those young, carefree and innocent days may be gone; lost in the jungle of fond memories but our cousinhood remain strong and with each year, we see each other through more harrowing experiences that strengthen our bond further. A bond that, God willing, will last and see us through the different phases of our lives.

This was us... then (L-R): Abang Redza, Farhan, Irdawathy, Andrea, Adin and Khairul.

Family @ Aidilfitri 2004 (L-R): Irdawathy, Papa, Mama, Asyraf and Farhan.

Family @ Aidilfitri 2004 (L-R): Asyraf, Irdawathy and Farhan.

Diaryland is down, so I'm taking my ranting here.

National Service can be such a test sometimes; well, most times, actually. How does one survive the bad food, bad bedding and endless physical torture? Most importantly, how does one as picky and as heavy a sleeper as he endure the early mornings and bad food?

Then again, this is just the disdainful sister blubbering. Beneath all that contempt, she is aware of the pros of National Service and supports it wholeheartedly but all sanity and understanding is gone when her missing him overcomes all else.

Tsk. I have got to be the most emotionally-charged sister ever.

Farhan, see you on the 23rd and you'll be glad to find all your favourite dishes spread on the dining table. And the endless hugs and kisses you'll receive from me. *BEAMS* That has got to be such sweet gratification after the fortnight at Tekong. Or not?

At home, before setting off to my uncle's house...

Me: (twirls around while looking in mirror) I think I'm gorgeous.

Dad: Hmph.

Mum: So conceited.

Me: Translation: Yes, my daughter, you are gorgeous?

Brother: Nolah. I'm more gorgeous.

Comment: Conceit definitely runs in the family.

********************

At Banquet Foodcourt...

Me: One carrot cake, please.

Stallholder: White or black?

Me: Black, with extra chilli.

Stallholder: (surprised) You can take chilli?

Me: Errr, yes *SMILES*.

Stallholder: Wow, my children cannot take chilli and they're Malay. No wonder you have such a nice complexion. You take so much chilli!

Me: (not understanding the connection to what she'd just uttered and my wanting extra chilli in my carrot cake) Thank you!

Stallholder: You're welcome. Come back again! *SMILES AND HANDS ME MY ORDER*.

Comment: Standing behind the shield of courtesy can get you out of awkward moments sometimes.

********************

At my uncle's house this evening...

Me: When Abang Redza (cousin) gets married, Andrea (another cousin) and I will be his wedding planner. *BEAMS*

Aunt: (in Malay) I don't want loud music, please. Relatives and friends attend to chat and loud music disrupts the conversations because we have to scream.

Me: Don't worry, auntie. Since we hate such things at a wedding, we'll ensure that it's not repeated at Abang's wedding. The music will definitely be soothing and predominantly love songs.

Aunt: And I don't want only English songs. Make sure you spin songs sung by Siti Nurhaliza (popular Malaysian singer with a squeaky clean record).

Comment: Something tells me my cousin may not have much say in his wedding, although I doubt he minds. Then again, things may be much different several years down the road.

I know that ranting about a movie almost a week after I'd watched it is such an insult to my intelligence. It just proves once and for all how slow I can be sometimes. But, heck, I just can't get over how stupid the said movie was. Besides, better late than never, right? I won't rant much; just this:

"In Good Company" has got to be the most plotless and directionless movie I'd ever watched. The fact that there are a handful of eye-candy and talents casted in just doesn't cut it or save an ounce of the show.

There, I've said it.

Now, I'm off to my weekly WWE show(s). At least there are plots and directions there, albeit obviously cliche endings.

5 minutes ago...

My weekend has officially begun. And yet, I am not looking forward to it; it being such a boring and dormant weekend. Sigh.

5 minutes later...

Or maybe not.

A colleague just invited me for dinner and my youngest brother has "booked" me for the whole day tomorrow. I'm off, people. Enjoy the weekend!

*SKIPS AWAY HAPPILY*

It took just one book to convince me that he is indeed a literary genius. If only I had half of his talent...

Anyone thinking of getting me a gift, here's a hint - A MPH Book Voucher would be the perfect gift for me. Or a collection of Dan Brown's books, perhaps? Heh, shamelessness (if ever there was such a word) at its best, I know. *GRINS*

As I was drafting a Writ of Summons for one of my files, I came across the Defednant's accident report written in an impeccably neat and beautiful handwriting. I can't stop staring at it, even as I type this.

Dear [name of client],

The potential Defendant's daughter has just informed us that the potential Defendant has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and they do not have the cash to reimburse us the claim amount as they have to save up for their father's treatment. She has pleaded with us not to proceed with this case.

Kindly let us have your instructions.

Regards,
Irdawathy Anuar (Ms)
Legal Executive
M/s [name of law firm I am working at]

********************

I swear that if clients insist that we proceed with our claim against the said Defendant, I'll resign here and now; and ensure that I never work in a law firm where we act for that particular client again. Yes, I am stubbornly emotional like that. So sue me for having a heart.

My wedding will be a beautiful fusion of traditional Malay and modern Western. And I will ensure that my make-up does not include compact powder because I look extremely fake and plastic in it.

Marriage seems the topic of conversation at my paternal relatives' lips these days. It doesn't help that I am their eldest, unmarried niece (I think) in Singapore so every Saturday when I meet them, I am asked the same question: "When are you getting married?" or "Got a boyfriend yet?". If the answer is in the negative, a handful will always remind me that when I am married, I should be able to handle, and prioritise, a career and housework properly.

And because those questions or rebukes are not filled with malice, scoff or holier-than-thou attitudes, I am not made to feel pressured.

I am just amused that my relatives are more impatient and anxious to see me married than my parents are.

I'm pissed and irritated.

Singaporeans in general have to really learn to stop staring. That, and rushing for the only other available seat onboard public transports - injuring people or pushing away those who genuinely need the said seat in the process.

And we wonder why the government has courtesy campaigns.

"Life ends when you stop dreaming. Hope ends when you stop believing. Love ends when you stop caring. Therefore for life to be beautiful, it is imperative that you dream, believe and care."

- Anonymous

Such a beautiful quote, no? And cliche as this quote may seem to the masses, it is really quite true. Well, to me, at least.

Enjoy the weekend, people!

This space contains short and random writings, musings and what-have-you(s) that I feel would be an utter waste of space if documented in my main diary. This blog may still be alive a few months down the road. It may also be dead by then.

Yes, I am indecisive and impulsive like that.